To see

Wanderer above the Mist -Caspar David Friedrich

(perhaps my favorite painting of all time. definitely top five)

Little Brother will be joining us in June.

I will be headed into the third trimester in two weeks.

My brain can't quite comprehend that fact.

My momma: 'Well that makes sense to me. 'Cause you were in denial the whole first trimester, so it is really a two trimester pregnancy'. this is a truth.

It wasn't my plan to have babies this close together.

But it also wasn't my plan to get pregnant right after getting married.

Or my plan to fall in love with McCallin.

Or to break off an engagement.

And yet when I look back over these choices I feel awe.

From where I am standing now,
I can see
the quiet refinement brought by these shimmering tendrils that continue to wind their way through the pattern of my life.

I can see
a purpose greater than my heart, my head, my hands.

I can see
the wisdom and the love and the mercy.

And the brightest flashes of joy.
The ones that leave you breathless, and tearful, and everlastingly thankful for the life you've been given, where you reach out in love, where you cannot be constrained or contained because you are invincible in the joy of your God.

And I am beginning to see the peace that comes as I breathe in and trust.

God will gather me tenderly.

He sees me.